So, a “thing” happened yesterday which upset me a little. Two people had a conversation on twitter about me and my blog. They don’t know I saw the conversation. Or maybe they do know. Maybe they think I’m stupid or so up my own arse I wouldn’t know they were talking about me. Maybe they were subtweets of the highest most complicated order. I dunno.
Anyway, I saw and it hurt. At one time or another I was following/being followed by these
people and spoke with them often. One of them even recently told me that although they don’t generally read blogs, they read mine and thought it was good and “different”. Now I have them blocked on Twitter. I don’t even have my ex-husband blocked on Twitter, so you can see how hard that comes to me. Their accusations that I am “smug” and that I am involved in a “happiness” competition (also implying others are too) stung. The oddest thing was that this all occurred in the week I blogged about my father’s dementia, our house sale falling through and going to Yorkshire rather than during the fortnight I was in the Caribbean. Hardly smug happy posts (although Yorkshire was beautiful, you know what I mean). I am annoyed at myself that two people I have never met (will never meet) have made me feel small and bad about myself.
I started this blog as a form of diary for myself and I thought it might be interesting for others to read. But, and here’s the point, it’s for me mainly. A record of my first year here. Sometimes there is a lot going on, sometimes it’s “normal”. Probably like most peoples lives. So what makes me think you will want to read about my life? I don’t know. Others may be in a new relationship, or trying to buy a house, or dealing with [lots of!] grown up offspring and it may hit a note with them that makes them say “oh, it’s not just me then”. What I do know is that if you DON’T want to read about my life, then don’t! I’m not making you! I follow lots of people on Twitter who blog. I don’t read all of them by any means. The ones I particularly love I follow and have delivered straight to my inbox (which, incidentally, you can do with mine if you like).
I didn’t have “comments” activated on here for a while because of an interesting conversation at Britmums with, amongst others, HerMelness. However a couple of people asked me why they couldn’t comment so I activated them and have enjoyed people’s responses to my posts. As MrS and I met on Twitter and had (have) many mutual followers it feels like people are invested in us and many many lovely people have said how happy they are to see US happy. I love sharing in people’s joy on Twitter and Facebook. Unlike others I don’t see this as “bragging” and “competitive” (it’s notable that on FB I have met 98% of my followers – yeah I worked it out – in real life. That means I LIKE to know they’ve had a fab holiday). My follower numbers on Twitter have actually gone up and I have some brilliant chats with people I would never have had the chance to talk to, so I’m assuming none of them (you!) think I’m smug and competitive in the happiness stakes.
If you do, you know where the button is…
And if you don’t, thank you. And maybe drop a comment to say so ;)
There comes a point in life when you realise who really matters, who never did and who always will