MrS has taken MissS1 back to University this weekend so I’ve taken the opportunity to come to the flat, see the boys and do some chores.
The flat has velux windows, and the blinds are not in very good condition. Most of them have snapped wires and only shut properly on one side. I tried to find someone to repair them, but people only wanted to quote me for new ones. MrS and I hit on the idea of fishing line to repair them, so this afternoon I went to Tim’s Tackle (I kid you not) just nearby.
Me, wandering in shop with existing cord in my hand: Hello can you help me please?
Tim: Tha’s a thck bit ‘o line you got thaaar
Me: I need something similar but not for fishing please.
Tim: What yew makin’ then my love.
M: explains situation with blinds.
Tim: Ah, tha’ looks loike a 60lb line ta me. I dunt know if I’ve got any.
Me: Nods wisely in agreement and follows Tim to back of shop.
Tim: I’ve unly got at in neon yellow
Tim look suspiciously at neon yellow line.
I look askance at neon yellow line wondering how this will fit with the beige blinds.
Tim: Oh, hang you orn, ‘ere at is.
Tim presents me with 50 meters of 60lb fishing line and I follow him back ot the til, where he promptly starts writing out a pass for the local fishing lakes for a customer who came in whilst we were debating the merits of neon yellow line.
So I wait patiently but am roused from my reverie by yet another customer who had been shooting the breeze with Tim on my arrival. No doubt reminising about ones that got away or some such. Anyway, Mr Customer had overheard me telling Tim about my blind woes.
Mr Customer: Will yew be needin’ to tie knots in tha’ line lass?
Me: Yes I will.
Mr Customer: Spit on at. Tha’s what yew need t’do. Where yew gonna tie the not you need to spit on the line and then at’ll self tighten.
Me: Oh, thank you for that tip (whilst thinking this was useful to know I was also thinking I would be spitting on anything anytime soon)
Mr Customer: Is that the old stuff?
He indicates to the line in my hand and I nod
Mr Customer takes my hand and takes my middle finger and demonstrates how I should tie the not. I’m grateful he didn’t feel the need to demonstrate the spitting.
I thanked him profusely again and finally Tim was ready to be paid.
I thanked them all for their help again and left the shop. When I got home I realised I still had a piece of nylon tied to my finger.
I resisted the urge to ask Tim what he would have called his shop if his name had not been Tim.
Anyway, thankfully the line has worked a treat and currently I have repaired one blind. One was enough for today, trust me. And I didn’t spit, but I did lick.
Disclaimer: I am from Norfolk so I am allowed to take the pee out of the Norfolk accent