I only seem to get to blog at weekends right now. This week has been very up and down. Totally on a high from last weekend, making wedding plans but so tired from the dog keeping us up. This week she has been terrible. The thundershirt didn’t work at all – it seemed to for about 2 nights but then things went back to normal after that. One particularly bad night I was up at 1:30, 3:30, 4:30 and 5:30. So we finally ordered a crate on line and we started the crate training yesterday. You can’t just put a dog in a cage, shut the door and let them get on with it. We have been introducing her to it slowly all weekend. This afternoon she spent an hour asleep in it while we were in the room but she still won’t go into it voluntarily and she certainly won’t be ready to be shut away all night in it by tonight. Still, we will persevere. It really is our final option.
Sleep deprivation is the worst and even though last weekend was amazing I couldn’t seem to rally myself to find enthusiasm for much else. But it’s exciting planning things and most people seem genuinely happy for us. I say most. One (male) person at work felt it appropriate to ask if this was my “favourite engagement ring” and if MrS was my “richest husband”. I should point out that I work in a very young environment, 80% of my work colleagues are under 30. I’m the third oldest person there and, apart from the senior management team, most of them aren’t even in long term relationships, only a few are married and even less have children. I don’t really expect most of them to understand what it’s like to be getting married for the third time, although one of the younger lads told me early on that his mother was now married to her sixth husband. They loved to hear that we met on Twitter. But by the end of the week I was beginning to feel like … I don’t know really…like a few of people were rolling their eyes at the fact this was 3rd time round for both of us ? I know these people shouldn’t matter and although I have been surprised by the lacklustre way some people I called good friends have received the news, others who know us really well (including, most importantly, our children and our families) are over the moon for us.
Then this morning someone on Twitter sent me this. This is what Sean Penn has to say in Esquire Magazine this month about getting married for the third time around.
The friend who tweeted it said he thought I might like to read it. In the ensuing conversation I said it was great to see someone put such a positive spin on a third marriage – and admitted that I was sometimes cautious telling others that it was our third time. His reply – that I “have hope and optimism. Who wouldn’t want that?” hit the nail on the head for me. This is exactly what MrS and I have. Hope and optimism that this time we won’t fuck it up. Off the back of this another friend tweeted that I should never feel bad about it and that “our pasts make us so much better prepared”.
We only fail at life if we never learn from our failures
(Plucky, Feb 2015)
So, the upshot of this musing is that MrS and I are happy and we are happy that others are happy and can share in our happiness, but if others aren’t happy then let them be unhappy… keeping up?
The rest of the weekend was spent on a girls night out… (Friday) with HotTubHelen and PoshVics at the Hoxton Hotel in Holborn
And Saturday afternoon was spent in a most convivial manner at Blackheath Rugby Club. I tell you – you get a much better class of insult at Rugby matches. I love the way you can make “I’ll think you’ll find that was offside sir” sound so withering. And not a single swear word was uttered.