This post was in response to a Post40Blogger writing prompt and previously appeared on Post40Bloggers...
I’d never heard of this expression until I started WeightWatchers in July 2004. A relationship with food. I just ate food, I didn't know I had a relationship with it. One day in July 2004 my husband turned round to me and baldly said “You really need to stop eating. You’re getting fat.” No word of a lie, just like that. Even now over 10 years later I recall those words clearly. I was 11st 14 and between a size 12/14.
The very next day I joined WW Online. It was in the early days of the Internet with regards to the social aspect, however there were various forums attached and within days I had made new friends and embraced the WW Points system.
I lost over 2.5 stone by the end of the year. And a husband.
Here began my love hate relationship with food. All though really, it's a love/sad relationship. I don’t have an eating disorder, I don’t binge, I don’t diet to the nth degree to a physically-impossible-to-maintain low weight. What I do is eat happy, diet sad.
When I split with my first husband I kept that weight off until I moved in with my (then future) second husband. Then slowly and surely it went back on until I was back up to 10st 4. Then my second husband decided he needed to lose weight (again. He had a terrible relationship with food up to that point and had gone back up to 18 stone) and he joined Slimming World. In a way he traded one obsession for another – his obsession for food for an obsession with healthy eating and exercise. He himself would admit he has an addictive personality - he took up running and cycling (and I mean running marathons and cycling from Vietnam to Cambodia) and he spent more and more time doing these things and less and less time with me. Because we were eating healthy food I started losing weight too. But really, in effect, I was so unhappy that I was barely eating at all and I lost 6lb one week. Not a healthy weight loss for anyone other than the truly obese. Some days I would have Cadbury's mini eggs for lunch and survive on cups of tea. Only having to cook for my husband and boys meant I ate in the evening, but I mostly made an excuse to leave that too. I was so unhappy I lost my appetite.
By the time I met MrS I was down to just under 9 1/2 stone again.
However, our social life is very much centred around eating out. And we have an awesome time doing it. Coupled with an injury meaning I can't exercise other than walk right now, I have put on my "happy stone" (and a bit). But I am so happy, so whilst I have begun to take care over what I'm eating again I'm doing it sensibly, and not at the expense of sitting with a face like a smacked arse in a Michelin-Starred restaurant. MrS says I am perfect as I am and he would rather I was happy than skinny. So I'm working at being both, but happy wins at the moment. And as soon as I get this hip fixed I'll be back in the gym...